where is this place?

where is this place? it was not on the map.

many of my friends live thousands of kilometres away or have travelled that far. many plan to move or travel. but here i am. i fell into a full time job, bought a new car, Got Debt. but i also know i can pay rent next week - most likely. i've just done my first dj set (loved it).

i just feel a bit ... anchored but not grounded. a bit like a passenger who's not sure if they've caught the right bus.

it just seems like you're not really allowed to feel strange when you're in your twenties. teenagers get away with whatever angsty crap their hormones dish up; people are allowed to freak out when they turn 30 or 40. hell, when you're in your 40s you're allowed to have a mid-life crisis. but all told what the fuck is with being in your twenties?

i don't know.

you are expected to know better, whether you're still young enough not to care ...or not. you're expected to take on responsibility but not expected to want more money or respect. you've rented long enough to want to buy, but you haven't worked long enough to get The Really Big Debt. you're young enough to get away with a sports car, but not rich enough to buy one.

it's ok really. i'm not truly unhappy with where i am. i'm just getting old enough to realise i knew nothing in years past and now wonder whether i just know nothing at a new level. whether i'll spend my whole life trying to figure out what's going on. that's a pretty annoying thought.

all told right at this instant i'd probably settle for a world full of standards-compliant web browsers. that really would make my life easier :P

but seriously folks...

to all my friends who moved away from this city... i miss you guys.

2002.11.01

back
back