How you actually corrupt your cow is up to you... but there are a few
pointers that those new to the art of bovine corruption may find
useful...
First, select your bovine target. Remember that cows look different when
spotted from various distances and profiles, so your target may look
something like any of these:
(__)
(oo) U
/-------\/ /---V
/ | || * |--| .
* ||----||
~~ ~~
Cow at 1 metre. Cow at 100 metres. Cow at 10,000 metres.
Side Front Side Back
(__) (__) (__) (__)
( oo (oo) oo ) ( )
/\_| /\/\ |_/\ / \
Also, you may need to travel a fair distance to find your victim, so
here are some examples of cows out of their more usual habitat:
* (__)
\ (DD)
\ /-------\/ _
|\ / | ||_|_|
\ | \ (__) * ||----|
\\|| \(oo) ~~ ~
\||\ \\/ Cow chugging beer and staring at
~~ \|| the usual hi-jinks associated
\\ || with parties held by cows of
\\|| questionable moral fibre.
\|| (Caution: this cow may already
~~ be corrupted and is therefore
\\_ a waste of time as your
\_ Corrupt-A-Cow victim).
Cow skiing a Black Diamond at
Perisher (Extreme cow, eh?)
(__) (__) (__) (__)
(oo) (oo) (oo) (oo)
/-------\/-* /-------\/ /-------\/ %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
/ | || \ )*)(\/* / * / | ||
* ||----|| * \ |||/)|/()( %%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\/|(/)(/\/(,,/ \)|(/\/|)(/\
Cow in long Cow in very Cow in water Cow in trouble
grass long grass.
It is important to corrupt your cow properly. A half-baked effort may
leave your cow not corrupted but merely screwed-up:
(Tell me about your mother.)
/ "She was a bloody heifer!"
(__) / (Did you like her milk?)
([][]) "Yeah, but she bottle fed me!"
__\/_--U (Ahh. Now we find the maternal (__)
/\ \__ conflict!) ~ ("")
/\\\ / / //\ ____\_____\/ //
/----~/__/\ /\ // \\/ \___ / //
\\\____/--\-- // /-/__________/ //
/====== \/ =======/==============//
*_/ / \ /~ // / \\
/ \ ~ // \\
Sigmund Cowd
And as always, beware of the various breeds of Vampcows, a couple of
examples being:
(__)
(oo)
/'~~~-m (~~)
/'' ` ) (oo)
| /| /-------vv
| | | | / | ||
|____|_| ||----||
//|| || ww ww
* ww ww
Bela Lucowsi
Vlad Cowpes (whew, check the
eyebrows! ;))
Some accepted versions of the corrupted bovine:
(__)
(\/) Corruption shows itself in (__)
/-------\/ many forms... But they are (++)
/ | 666 || usually such things as /-------\/
* ||----|| cows worshipping the dark / | ||
~~ ~~ lord, sacrificing goats * ||----||
Satanic cow or indulging in copious ww ww
mind-altering or depraved Drunk Cow
sexual acts. Watch your
(___) intended corruptee for
(o o) any such signs of (__)
/------\ / (__) corruption and (&&)
/ ____O (oo) debauched hedonistic /-------\/
| / /----\----\/ pleasure. Be careful / | ||
/\oo===| / || however, if your victim * ||----||
| || *||~-----|| starts writing gangsta ww ww
* ~~ ~~ ~~ rap then you've gone Trippin' Cow
Cowtus interuptus too far. Whoo-har.
O O O O
\ \ / /
\ \ (__) /
(__) . o O \ \ (xx)/
(DD) \ +--------+\//
/-------\/ \| | /
/ | || +--------+
* ||----||
~~ ~~
Cow fantasizing about "Riding the Mechanical Bull"
|